Zeyda's Web-Site

The Years 1964-1979

In February of 1964 we moved into our new home, a three family house, on West 9th Street in the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn. I was working at Con Edison and Rose was typing envelopes at home for a company that did mailings for other companies. Even though she was working at home it was a part time job because she was busy taking care of the family. The three kids were attending Yeshiva Ohel Moshe and Rose would go there lunch time to help out in the lunch room. And of course she did all the chores at home; shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry and providing every member of the family with her care, love and time. In later years she became more involved with community organizations; the Ladies Auxiliary at the yeshiva, Mizrachi Women, and the Sisterhood at the Shul. In each of these organizations she served as president and other offices at one time or another.

We rented out one apartment to a Jewish family that had recently arrived from Egypt. They were nice people but when we interviewed them they only mentioned their two children a boy and a girl. They didn't say anything about a grandmother and an aunt. Six people in a two bedroom apartment. Unfortunately the grandmother was senile which led to a number of problems. The other apartment we rented to my mother and Ben Zion and he would frequently open his window and call down to the kids that they were making too much noise.

 It was an old house and things were breaking down frequently. We were trying to avoid paying for repairs so I was doing everything on my own. Everything from electrical to plumbing to unclogging the main sewer line to renovations of our apartment. Rose was there all the time helping me with all the chores. It wasn't easy but years later we were able to look back and see that all the hard work did lead to beneficial results. That, unfortunately, is not always the case.

Later that year, in November, Asher became a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't have the money to pay for a catered affair as some of Asher's classmates were having. We borrowed some money and rented a hall in a local synagogue and catered the party on our own with the advice and help from Rose's uncle and aunt, Chetzkel and Chava Ekstein. Chetzkel was Yitzchak Meir's brother. We become very friendly with them. One of the reasons that they took such a strong interest in Rose and me, was that they weren't on good terms with Yitzchak Meir and his wife. I don't know what the issues were but we were happy to have a friend. We took from the money that Asher received as gifts to repay the loan that we had taken to make the party. Uncle Chetzkel took an invitation to the Bar Mitzvah celebration and hand delivered it to Yitzchak Meir but the grandfather did not attend his grandson's Bar Mitzvah. I don't remember if we mailed an invitation to Yitzchak Meir. If we didn't then I understand why he didn't come. Perhaps Rose and I could have handled the situation differently but forty five years later I can still remember the deep disappointment and emotional resentment that we had for Rose’s father. A few years later there was a partial reconciliation but the close relationship of the past was never reestablished.

Around 1965 I began to teach in the evenings at Mechanics Institute on 44th Street in Manhattan to supplement our income. Con Edison encouraged their workers who were laborers or technicians to attend the school at night to upgrade their knowledge to pass promotional exams. I was coming home three nights a week at 10 o'clock and I taught there for about ten years. Coming home at 10 o'clock in the evening had been my practice for nineteen years, nine at Cooper Union and ten at Mechanics Institute. I stopped teaching once my salary at Con Edison increased to the point that we didn't feel that the extra income justified my coming home at ten o'clock three nights a week. Rose continued typing at home until her eyesight began to fail. Once her minimal income was also not essential she continued to work and used the money for donations to her favorite charities and to buy her clothes.

Around 1967 a terrible conflict broke out at Yeshiva Ohel Moshe that split the parent body. The administration,  parents who worked hard raising and borrowing funds to meet the yeshiva's expenses, had a falling out with the principal of the school who was also the Rabbi of the Shul associated with the Yeshiva. I don't know if there were substantial issues or it was a clash of personalities. The administration wanted to get rid of him as principal but was willing to let him continue to be the Rabbi. There were meetings with the parents and with the Rabbis of the neighborhood and brain sessions into late at night. Somehow I got involved on the side of the Rabbi. I don't know why since I was close friends with the parents who wanted him out. The problem was that they never clearly stated their objection to the Rabbi. They never brought up any substantial or important issues that would justify firing someone who had been the principal for about twenty years. Foolishly they agreed to go to a Din Torah. I say foolishly since I wonder how many times a Din Torah has ruled for individual laymen against a Rabbi. In any case the Din Torah took place at Yeshiva Tiferes Yerushalayim with Harav Moshe Feinstein (ע"ה) as the main Dayan in the three member Bais Din. I was among a number who testified and I spoke to the Rabbis in Yiddish. One of the charges against the Rabbi was that he allowed children to be thrown out of the yeshiva if the parents refused to pay proper tuition. As chairman of the tuition committee I testified how difficult it was to get adequate tuition from parents. And while we might have on a particular occasion threatened to deny a child a place in the yeshiva, that was a negotiating tactic where it was known that the parent could afford a higher tuition but refused to do so. I pointed out to the Bais Din that no child had ever been thrown out of the yeshiva because of tuition.

The outcome of Din Torah and the conflict which lasted for many months before it was resolved was that the Rabbi maintained his positions as principle and as rabbi. Unfortunately, a number of parents took their children out of the yeshiva. In some cases these were the hard working individuals who had taken care of the business associated with running an institution whose budget was around $250,000. So the yeshiva which was having trouble meeting its expenses was now burdened with a decrease in income and with the loss of  important officers and active workers. Elections had to be held to fill the vacancies of those who left the yeshiva and I was elected Chairman of the Board of Trustees. The problems that the yeshiva faced during that time requires a book of its own. I'll just mention a few.

The individuals of the administration that left were good people but even good people can do bad things when they are angry and feel frustrated. They convinced the English principal to leave the yeshiva and offered her a pension. She had served the yeshiva for many years and deserved a pension but this was a bad time for her to leave. Monies had never been set aside for a pension and the yeshiva was strapped for cash more than usual. This ended up in court and they won the case.

The yeshiva was sponsoring a weekly bingo game outside the yeshiva at a bingo hall. The few hundred dollars raised each week was very helpful to the yeshiva.  These good men bought the bingo hall and told us they were evicting the yeshiva. We went to the New York State Bingo Commission and asked them to intercede. We had to demonstrate to the commission that the facilities at the yeshiva were not suitable for running the bingo game. We hired an audio expert who conducted tests and presented his findings to the commission that the yeshiva facilities had poor audio quality and was not suitable for a bingo game. The commission ruled in our favor and they could not kick us out of the hall.

At this time the teachers threatened to strike if they did not receive a raise. We opened our books to them and showed them that the yeshiva was operating at a loss. Nevertheless we finally had to come up with a small raise to avoid a strike. The teachers were certainly deserving but what do you do when there aren't sufficient funds to cover the expenses.

It was a very difficult time for me personally. I was working at Con Edison at a job that at the time was stressful. In later years after I had established a reputation and was on a personal friendly relationship with some of the officers of the company my job became much easier. In fact towards the end of my career my job was generally with little stress. I had engineers who had worked for me for many years who knew their responsibilities quite well. It was only necessary for me to assign the projects, review their progress and advise upper management of the results. But at the time that the yeshiva was going through this crisis I was still teaching at night and the additional strain of trying to help the yeshiva was very difficult for me. I was serving in the capacity as Chairman of the Board of Trustees when all of these events took place and the pressures were such that I almost suffered a nervous breakdown.

I had served as recording secretary and also as gabbai in the shul were I davened. I also served as president of a Mizrachi chapter that we belonged to. But the pain and frustration experienced at the yeshiva cured me of any desire to serve the community in any official capacity. However, I did serve behind the scene at the shul where I davened. I published the weekly and monthly calendars for the shul. I made up the mailing labels for the shul and the sisterhood mailings and I worked on the journal for the annual dinner. But I avoided the politics associated with being an officer. 

Our children all attended and graduated from Yeshiva Ohel Moshe; Asher in June of 1965, Eliezer in June 0f 1967 and Estelle in June 1971. Each was selected to be valedictorians for their graduating class. Asher continued to The Yeshiva of Flatbush High School as did his siblings. After graduating from the high school Asher attended Yeshiva University for two years. He then went to Israel and learned one year at Keren B'Yavne and one year at Chevron Yeshiva in Jerusalem. He married Chana Deutch (ע"ה) in June of 1973. He joined the Kollel of Yeshiva Kol Yakov and studied there for around ten years. He has been a Rebbi at Yeshiva Mikdash Melech and at Ohr Yerushalayim for many years.

Eliezer graduated from YU in 1975 and went to Israel and learned at Yeshiva Mercaz Harav. He married Sharon Friedlander in June of 1977. He taught mathematics in a junior high school in Jerusalem. When Sharon was pregnant they returned to the states and resided in Cleveland where her parents lived. Eliezer began a career in computers working for a major steel manufacturer. For many years now he has been working for a international company that manufactures plastics.