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The Years 1950-1960
Early in 1950 we began to become serious about marriage and I went to an employment agency to try to get a full time job. However, I didn’t have a high school degree and the only jobs available were factory jobs. I accepted a job with an envelope manufacturer who was located in Manhattan. I was a die press operator. I took large reams of paper and used the press to cut them into the shape that other machines formed into envelopes. I now had a steady job and we began to make arrangements for a wedding.
We were married on September 24, 1950 at the
Clinton Plaza, a kosher
catering hall on the East
Side. I’m sure that the Eksteins paid for everything since neither my mother nor
I could contribute anything at all. We went on a one week honeymoon to the
Breakers Hotel in Atlantic Beach; a kosher hotel which I don’t think exists
anymore.
When we returned we lived with Rose’s parents on Hendrix Street in East New York. I was working at the envelope factory and Rose continued to work at the GIOHG. But I had a near accident at work. A heavy die that I was holding slipped from my hand and miraculously only slightly cut a finger. Another quarter of an inch and I could have lost a finger. I was too frightened to continue to work at that job.
I took a job as a shipping clerk with Pic Jewelry Manufacturing, a costume jewelry firm. As soon as I had gained some experience in packing, shipping memos and postal zones I left for a higher salary with Spencer Novelty Company, a company that imported costume jewelry. I worked for Spencer for over ten years while I was going to school in the evening and until I got my degree in Electrical Engineering from The Cooper Union School of Engineering in 1963.
After we were married we began to talk about my going to night school to get a high school degree, something that all my friends had. So in January of 1951 I enrolled in Thomas Jefferson Evening High School. I did very well and I decided that I would continue until I would get a degree. Thomas Jefferson didn’t have summer school so in the summer of 1952 I went to Erasmus High School located on Flatbush Avenue near Church Avenue in Brooklyn. I went in the evening and took courses in algebra and plain geometry.
The year 1950 was a great year because we started our life together. The Year 1951 was a turning point in our lives not only because I returned to school, which started me on the road to a successful career, but also because we started our family. Asher was born on November 22, 1951.
Even though World War ΙΙ had ended in 1945 there was still a draft since the army needed personnel for the occupation of Germany and Japan. In 1950 the United Nations became involved in war in Korea against North Korea, supported by communist China. In the summer of 1951 I was called to appear for the physical and psychological tests for induction into the army. I was then classified 1A, approved for army service, Fortunately, Rose was already pregnant at that time. The army was not drafting fathers or men expecting their first child. I submitted a letter to the draft board from Rose’s obstetrician, Dr Goldberg, that she was pregnant and I was reclassified as 4A. The army was not drafting that classification and I did not have to serve in the army. A few of my friends were drafted and served in the army.
As mentioned earlier we were living with Rose’s parents. Charley was already married so he was not at home. Still living at home was Rose’s older sister, Adelle, and her younger sister, Rachel. Rose and I had a small bedroom off the kitchen. Things were going along fine until I got into an argument with Adelle, two adults arguing. Unfortunately, Rose’s mother couldn’t stay out of the dispute, she wanted to protect Adelle, and began to argue with me. I suppose I should have backed off but I didn’t. One word led to another and the situation quickly deteriorated. The tension became too much for me to continue living there even though that was the sensible thing to do. Rose was pregnant and we were not paying any rent and probably nothing for food. So we decided to move and I don’t remember Rose trying to change my mind. Perhaps she was concerned that continuing in that situation could affect our marriage.
Apartments were very hard to come by and we finally moved into the second floor of a one family house. The owners occupied the first floor. We had one bedroom, a kitchen and we shared the bathroom with an elderly gentleman who had the front bedroom. I don’t remember how much the rent was. Rose was expecting and we would soon lose her salary but somehow we managed. To a great extent our ability to handle our finances and relationships depended on Rose who had the amazing ability to manage with equanimity whatever problems came our way. Maybe it was this quality, or others that she had, that was responsible for a loving bond that lasted for the fifty six years that we knew each other and for fifty two years of marriage.
Asher was born on November 22, 1951 and we added a crib to our bedroom. I don’t know what conversations transpired between Rose and her mother but after some time we were offered the first floor apartment in their house on Hendrix Street at a reasonable rent. We, of course, accepted and that made life much easier for Rose. Her mother and her younger sister, Rachel, were there to help her. While I didn’t know the details I believe that her parents helped with food and probably financially also. I continued to work at Spencer and going to evening high school and Rose took care of the house and the family. Eliezer was born on December 3, 1953 and Estelle was born on October 31, 1957.
In January of 1954 I went to Washington Irving High School on Irving Place in Manhattan to take courses in chemistry which Thomas Jefferson didn’t have. During the semester we were advised that aptitude tests were available free to anyone interested. So I took the test and was advised by the social worker or psychologist who did the evaluation that I did exceptionally well and that I should consider going to college. I had never thought about going to college. My goal in returning to school was to graduate from high school just like all my friends. She gave me a number of college catalogs to review. I was impressed that The City College of New York and The Cooper Union did not charge tuition. So I applied to Cooper Union. I think if tuition was required I would not have applied. The Cooper Union accepted me and waived the entrance examination on the basis of my high school grades
In June of 1954 I graduated from Thomas Jefferson Evening High School That fall I started engineering school. I had classes three nights a week and got home around ten at night. Between working forty hours a week, travel time, studying and homework I probably wasn’t an easy person to live with. But Rose never complained. She always encouraged me.
In 1959 the Eksteins realized that the neighborhood, East New York, was changing and they decided to move. They bought a four family house in Bensonhurst, a lovely neighborhood. Once again they were very generous and Rose and I moved into a large three bedroom apartment. I don’t recall if initially their other daughters moved in also. But at some time all four apartments were occupied; by the parents, by Rose’s sisters with their families, and by us. This aroused jealousy in Charley’s wife, Rose. Charley was a graduate physicist who had a good paying job. They had a one family home. Still there is no doubt that she felt that her husband was not being treated equally to his sisters. This was true, he wasn’t being treated equally but was he being treated fairly? This raises a basic challenge to parents. How do you help a child who needs help without producing jealousy in another child? In the bible Cain is jealous that G-d accepted his brother’s offering and not his. Joseph’s brothers are jealous that their father gave a beautiful gift to him. Of course this is not always the case. There are situations where parents help one child and the siblings are not upset. Yonathan is not upset that the kingdom is to belong to David even though he is the king’s son, but Yonathan is friend and not a brother. I don’t have an answer to this problem other than advice; tread very gently when giving money or gifts to your children.
The boys were enrolled in Yeshivah Ohel Moshe and when she was six years old Estelle also attended that school. Rose began to help out in the lunchroom, became active in the Ladies Auxiliary, serving as president at one time. Later she ran their bingo game for a number of years which brought in much needed funds for the Yeshivah. She did everything from picking up the prize money, $1,000, from the bank, directing the volunteer workers, making the bank deposit after the game and filing the required weekly report with New York State.
Unfortunately Rose’s mother was ailing with a heart condition. She was hospitalized in 1960 at Maimonides Medical Center. Rose visited her mother almost every day. And I remember that on one Shabbos we all walked to the hospital, a distance of about 2½ to three miles. The children waived to their grandmother who was at an upper story window waiving back to them. I don’t remember the details but we must have pushed a carriage since Estelle was only about two years old. Feiga returned home but soon after, in June of 1960, she passed away. This was a very painful experience for the whole family. She had been the matriarch of the family. She ran the family and her husband did what she wanted.