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The Years 1960-1964
It was very difficult for Rose's father, Yitzchak Meyer, to cope with the aftermath of his wife's death. Rose did everything that she could to help him. She prepared his meals, cleaned the apartment, did his laundry and helped in every way possible. Friday night and Shabbos he joined us for the meals. And of course she continued to take care of her immediate family. The three kids were all attending Yeshivah Ohel Moshe. I was working and going to school three nights a week.
About six months later Yitzchak Meyer remarried. It was very hard for Rose since she was still mourning for her mother. She cried often but never said anything to her father. Rose was always obedient and respectful to her parents. There were times when I was upset about a particular issue and I would ask Rose to confront her parents. She would always refuse and say "I can't do that, they are my parents".
I will not accuse Henny, I don't recall her last name, of entering into the marriage with an agenda. It is just from her perspective helping his children was not important. Helping his children took second place to her needs and desires. It didn't take long for animosity to develop between Rose and Adelle on one side and Henny on the other. I don't believe that Rachel was involved at all. She had a more easy going personality. I don't remember the issues but the two sides were avoiding each other. I guess Rose's father wasn't happy with the situation but in his marriages the wife was the boss. It didn't take long and Rose's father told us that he could not continue to help with the tuition at the Yeshivah. As it was we were just making ends meet. This only added to our feelings about that woman.
At the same time Rose and her siblings were not on talking terms. I don't recall the issues. I don't know whether this was caused by Henny or resulted from Feiga no longer being around to control the situation, In any case it was many years before Rose and her sisters reconciled to some extent and were talking with each other on a regular basis. Communication with her brother, Charley, was never reestablished even though we attended the Bar Mitzvah of one of his sons which probably occurred around 1965.
In 1963, around the time that I was graduating, Yitzchak Meyer asked us to move because he and his wife wanted the apartment for themselves. He said that the one that they were in was too small. Of course it had been big enough when Feiga was alive. He offered us $3,000 to move. We refused for many reasons: we felt that we had a right to stay in the apartment because Rose's parents had asked us to move there; it would be impossible to get a three bedroom apartment for the rent that we were paying; we wanted to remain in the neighborhood to be near the Yeshivah; and perhaps there were more reasons that I don't remember.
On June 5, 1963 I graduated from Cooper Union with a degree in electrical engineering. And on June 10, 1963 I started a position at Con Edison with the title Assistant Engineer. My starting was $7500 a year, $25 more a week than I had been making as a shipping clerk but we were sure that the opportunities for advancement were much greater. Neither one of us at that time could imagine the benefits that would come to our life style as a result of my new career. I worked for Con Edison for more than 26 years. We often remarked that my career was the payback, the result of the many years of hard work, of going to school at night for three years for a high school degree and then continuing for nine more years to get a college degree while holding a full time job. In all that time Rose never complained. She took care of the family with all the work that implies and always encouraged me. I have always understood that I attained certain levels of accomplishments because I had certain talents. But those talents may never have been utilized if I didn't meet and marry Rose whose inner beauty matched her outer beauty. She created for me the stability that was missing in my life. Together we established a life, a home and a family,
By late 1963 the tension in the house was too much and it became clear to us that we had to move. We began to look around and eventually we decided to buy a three family house nearby, on West 9th Street. We had a meeting with Rose's father and his wife, told them of our decision and asked for the money that they had offered us. They reneged on their previous offer and refused to give us any money. Rose and I discussed the refusal between ourselves and we concluded that once they knew that we had already given a deposit they figured that we would have to go through with the purchase even if they didn't live up to their promise. Of course we were upset and the refusal only reinforced how we felt about them. Yitzchak Meyer was a good man but he didn't have a spine. Perhaps I am being too hard on him. He did help us for many years but the way things end, final impressions, last a long time. In the long run our being asked to leave the apartment which led to our purchase of a house was a substantial benefit to us financially but initially it was very hard. It brings to mind an expression that my mother made a number of times in Yiddush, " A bad situation may lead to a happy ending".
We were able to put together the $6,000 down payment by cashing in a life insurance policy that I had, borrowing money from my aunt Leicka and her daughter Sylvia Gilder and from my mother and father. We did repay my aunt and cousin but the loans from my parents became gifts.
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